I called my sister and left a message saying I would appreciate her not making comments about my weight because I am too chicken otherwise. I called a friend who I haven't spoken to in some time, I used to see her at least weekly... It's weird though because I left messages for both and when they both called back- I didn't want to talk to them.
With my sister Georgia, she tends to blame everything on my sensitive nature. She always apologizes for hurting my feelings, but she always ends up saying I am "too sensitive." Apparently she has always made comments that I need to lose weight but I am more aware of it now because she has lost 65 pounds recently. Well- she had a gastric bypass surgery so her body has no choice but to lose weight... but she makes a solid point. Maybe I am more insecure now that my sister who has consistently been larger is getting down to my size. It's inevitable that she will be smaller than I am... I am curvy. I am a size 14 and just fine with that. But she said last night, "I just need you to be aware that I will probably end up smaller than you, and I don't think you are going to like it." And I probably won't. It is high time for her to be seen as the smaller sister though... The prettier one. My sister is beautiful and has always been, but the world sees a larger woman and that's all. I am excited for her. I am excited that she is starting to shop in regular stores and enjoys wearing skirts now. I am excited that her life is changing and more doors are opening. Being obese is oppressive. I want her to feel confident the way I do...
And Katie. Katie and I have such a history. She is the first friend I made when I moved here. I love Katie. She is bright and bubbly, and very honest. We have always encouraged one another but I suspect that she has moved on. She is a Christian and strives to be a better Christian. We used to have that in common and since I haven't renewed my subscription to the god card- I feel like she no longer wants me close to her. I understand that. If I encourage her to question things against her beliefs- I understand her need for distance if she is trying to stay the course. Being a strong Christian is incredibly difficult. But I still need to call her back and see where our friendship stands. I haven't seen her since October... and we've only talked a handful of times since... We will see.
With my sister Georgia, she tends to blame everything on my sensitive nature. She always apologizes for hurting my feelings, but she always ends up saying I am "too sensitive." Apparently she has always made comments that I need to lose weight but I am more aware of it now because she has lost 65 pounds recently. Well- she had a gastric bypass surgery so her body has no choice but to lose weight... but she makes a solid point. Maybe I am more insecure now that my sister who has consistently been larger is getting down to my size. It's inevitable that she will be smaller than I am... I am curvy. I am a size 14 and just fine with that. But she said last night, "I just need you to be aware that I will probably end up smaller than you, and I don't think you are going to like it." And I probably won't. It is high time for her to be seen as the smaller sister though... The prettier one. My sister is beautiful and has always been, but the world sees a larger woman and that's all. I am excited for her. I am excited that she is starting to shop in regular stores and enjoys wearing skirts now. I am excited that her life is changing and more doors are opening. Being obese is oppressive. I want her to feel confident the way I do...
And Katie. Katie and I have such a history. She is the first friend I made when I moved here. I love Katie. She is bright and bubbly, and very honest. We have always encouraged one another but I suspect that she has moved on. She is a Christian and strives to be a better Christian. We used to have that in common and since I haven't renewed my subscription to the god card- I feel like she no longer wants me close to her. I understand that. If I encourage her to question things against her beliefs- I understand her need for distance if she is trying to stay the course. Being a strong Christian is incredibly difficult. But I still need to call her back and see where our friendship stands. I haven't seen her since October... and we've only talked a handful of times since... We will see.
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