Angie Johnson, my brother-in-law Erik's wife, passed away on October 24, 2010. She was only 36 years old. It is still a shock to my system that someone that young could be gone so quickly. Angie had a weird swelling in her hand back in September and we were nosy and asked about it... she was going for testing to see what the cause was. On Friday 10/22 they diagnosed her with chronic leukemia and started her on a low dose of chemo. We got a call from Brent's dad that Angie was in ICU, essentially in a coma, and things weren't looking good on Sunday. We left right away to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. When we got there, we both knew something was really wrong. How can someone go from talking to me on Friday night, being strong and confident that things would turn out okay... to lying in a hospital room having a respirator control her breathing not even 48 hours later. I knew Angie was going to find out the diagnosis during the day on Friday so I called her that night. She was shaken, but strong. The only time her voice broke was when she said telling her parents was the hardest part. She said out of all of her sisters, she was glad it was her fighting cancer because she could fight it the best. She said, "Does that make me crazy?" I said, "No, that makes you noble."
Oh Angie.
I still can't believe it. While Angie was still with us I was in the room holding her hand, rubbing her feet, talking to her as normally as I could. Of course, Angie would've decked me if I touched her feet under "normal" circumstances! She sure was feisty.
The thing that keeps my mind busy is how Jessica and Erik are coping with this loss. Jessica is only 13 years old... and Erik just lost his wife of 15 years. I cannot imagine facing this world without Brent by my side. I am trying to be there for them, let them know we love them and are here if they need us... but I just don't feel like it's enough. No one will ever be able to take their pain away or replace Angie in their lives.
We traveled out to North Dakota two days before the visitation just to be there with them. My 15 month old son Alex really kept everyone distracted. I was able to help Jessica shop for clothes for her mother's funeral (just typing that makes me want to cry) and we bonded over making French Toast for breakfast one morning. There were a few tense moments about Jessica leaving the house in a tank top and flip flops... but apparently she and Angie were supposed to go last week for Jessi's winter gear. When I heard that it just broke my heart. Brent and I offered to get her a coat, hat, and gloves and let me tell you... she is just the prettiest girl. She said, "I want something that makes me feel like a model." After she found a cream Columbia jacket with a fur lined hood... it was easy for her to look like America's Next Top Model.
Angie adored Jessica... she was always bragging that Jessica was the prettiest, smartest, most athletic girl - and she was right!
I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. She took our wedding pictures. She emailed me for updates when she knew I had a doctor's appointment while pregnant, she emailed me after Alex was born when she knew he was having a check up... she kept track of us. I always appreciated her efforts... and I will miss her presence dearly.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Frustration
We can’t seem to get our finances in order. The moment we think we have things under control; we are dinged with a surprise Late Fee. Late fees are not the norm in our household… but for the past few months neither one of us are noticing due dates. We have been struggling to keep up not because we don’t have the money but because we don’t seem to actively keep on top of it. It is so frustrating. I think Brent is on top of it and vice versa. Most things are taken care of promptly and then something creeps in. I don’t mind calling creditors, explaining a mostly true situation, and getting the fees reversed (and the lack of fees on the account makes them believe the mostly true tale)… but what does that say for us? Have we all of a sudden become irresponsible card holders because we are now parents? Is this a normal thing new parent’s struggle with? Our mail is piling up on our guest bed but everything else in the home is in order. The baby is well. Our marriage is strong. So why is it a constant struggle? I would venture to say it is a lack of communication between Brent and me. We don’t like verbalizing “rules” or assigning jobs. We don’t like admitting to one another we aren’t on top of it, that we are inconsistently organized. I don’t want a family where the wife does the bills or the husband does the bills… but now I am starting to understand assigning that heinous task to an individual. That still doesn’t make me want to volunteer.
Monday, June 14, 2010
My 29th Birthday
I woke up on the morning of June 5th and it was just like any other Saturday. I normally have breakfast in bed with some fresh flowers sitting nicely in the middle of my dining room table. I am taken out for dinner and a movie and treated like a queen all day.
But this birthday was different. I expected it which helps so I mentally prepared myself and was truly not hurt when these pleasantries did not occur. You see, Brent was sick. I mean, sick sick. He was running a temperature and was just icky for days. This was also my first birthday as a mother so I knew that aspect would be different because you are needed whether it is a special day or not. Alex woke up at 7:30 like usual and needed his mommy.
I did manage to sneak out of the house and go shopping. I left while Alex was napping and Brent only had to watch him for about 45 minutes before I returned home. Shopping alone when you have a 10 month old baby is a real treat so I was incredibly grateful for that “me” time. I found some great clothes at fantastic prices. There was no guilt. My mom and dad sent money for my b-day present so there were no feelings of “This money would be better sent here or there.” This was MY money and I spent every bit of it gleefully.
That night I cooked barbeque chicken breasts and corn on the cob on the grill. I baked potatoes and had such a nice dinner just enjoying grilled food and sharing some of the potato with Alex. Brent didn’t eat much but he did make the effort to join us at the table.
I thought that was the end of my birthday. But I overlooked the fact that I married such a terrific man.
Friday evening, June 11th, I was starving. Brent said he would take out chicken for dinner and I didn’t see it. I said, “Well, its payday let’s go out somewhere to eat.” He didn’t budge from the sofa. I was in some kind of rush to leave but he wasn’t budging! Then I said, “You’re not going to believe this but someone is pulling in our driveway! It looks like your parents.” I was shocked and of course it was Sue and Larry. They came with presents for me and to babysit Alex so Brent could take me out. It was a complete surprise.
Brent still wasn’t feeling 100% but he planned this special evening for us. For those of you with babies, you know how special it is for someone to plan for a sitter and then take you out for a real date! We ate dinner and chatted then went to see “Get him to the Greek” which I thought was hilarious. I laughed the loudest in the theatre (no big surprise there) and then we went home. Alex was sleeping soundly in his room. Larry was asleep on the sofa and Sue was finishing a movie. All was well. And I got my birthday celebration.
But this birthday was different. I expected it which helps so I mentally prepared myself and was truly not hurt when these pleasantries did not occur. You see, Brent was sick. I mean, sick sick. He was running a temperature and was just icky for days. This was also my first birthday as a mother so I knew that aspect would be different because you are needed whether it is a special day or not. Alex woke up at 7:30 like usual and needed his mommy.
I did manage to sneak out of the house and go shopping. I left while Alex was napping and Brent only had to watch him for about 45 minutes before I returned home. Shopping alone when you have a 10 month old baby is a real treat so I was incredibly grateful for that “me” time. I found some great clothes at fantastic prices. There was no guilt. My mom and dad sent money for my b-day present so there were no feelings of “This money would be better sent here or there.” This was MY money and I spent every bit of it gleefully.
That night I cooked barbeque chicken breasts and corn on the cob on the grill. I baked potatoes and had such a nice dinner just enjoying grilled food and sharing some of the potato with Alex. Brent didn’t eat much but he did make the effort to join us at the table.
I thought that was the end of my birthday. But I overlooked the fact that I married such a terrific man.
Friday evening, June 11th, I was starving. Brent said he would take out chicken for dinner and I didn’t see it. I said, “Well, its payday let’s go out somewhere to eat.” He didn’t budge from the sofa. I was in some kind of rush to leave but he wasn’t budging! Then I said, “You’re not going to believe this but someone is pulling in our driveway! It looks like your parents.” I was shocked and of course it was Sue and Larry. They came with presents for me and to babysit Alex so Brent could take me out. It was a complete surprise.
Brent still wasn’t feeling 100% but he planned this special evening for us. For those of you with babies, you know how special it is for someone to plan for a sitter and then take you out for a real date! We ate dinner and chatted then went to see “Get him to the Greek” which I thought was hilarious. I laughed the loudest in the theatre (no big surprise there) and then we went home. Alex was sleeping soundly in his room. Larry was asleep on the sofa and Sue was finishing a movie. All was well. And I got my birthday celebration.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Memorial Day Weekend
We spent a lot of time with the Johnson Clan over Memorial Day weekend. First, we went out around noon on Saturday for a BBQ that afternoon.
Alex playing with his new drum.
Lee and Marlys enjoying the weather
The North Dakota Johnsons were able to come in for the holiday which is always fun.
Alex's first time in a wading pool. We didn't have his swim suit, but we made it work!
Alex and Ashley playing
Alex feeling out the grass
Grandma Sue and Sheri looking pretty
Playtime!
The three cousins. Alex clearly wanted to play, not take pictures!
On Sunday, Erik and Angie met us in New Hope to eat lunch at the Sunshine Factory. After that we packed and headed out to Chisago for an RV trip. The 3 of us joined Larry, Sue and Jessica and went to Shell Lake, Wisconsin.
Marty enjoying the ride out to Chisago on Sunday afternoon.
The ride out there was fun for all of us, especially Alex. He had lots to look at and everyone was playing with him!
It was gorgeous out that but rained all Sunday night. So... no bonfire! Not many great pictures from that first night because we were all trapped inside.
Jessica's odd choice of sleeping location.
The set-up
View from the RV
The shallow water was just beautiful. It was pretty warm but none of really wanted to go swimming.
Except for Marty! It was his first time swimming and he loved it!
And I leave you with this, a picture of my babies bum. He was tuckered out and slept in the back of the RV for a few hours on Monday morning. After he woke up, we did a little shopping and headed home. It was my first time traveling in an RV and I am sure it won't be my last!
Alex playing with his new drum.
Lee and Marlys enjoying the weather
The North Dakota Johnsons were able to come in for the holiday which is always fun.
Alex's first time in a wading pool. We didn't have his swim suit, but we made it work!
Alex and Ashley playing
Alex feeling out the grass
Grandma Sue and Sheri looking pretty
Playtime!
The three cousins. Alex clearly wanted to play, not take pictures!
On Sunday, Erik and Angie met us in New Hope to eat lunch at the Sunshine Factory. After that we packed and headed out to Chisago for an RV trip. The 3 of us joined Larry, Sue and Jessica and went to Shell Lake, Wisconsin.
Marty enjoying the ride out to Chisago on Sunday afternoon.
The ride out there was fun for all of us, especially Alex. He had lots to look at and everyone was playing with him!
It was gorgeous out that but rained all Sunday night. So... no bonfire! Not many great pictures from that first night because we were all trapped inside.
Jessica's odd choice of sleeping location.
The set-up
View from the RV
The shallow water was just beautiful. It was pretty warm but none of really wanted to go swimming.
Except for Marty! It was his first time swimming and he loved it!
And I leave you with this, a picture of my babies bum. He was tuckered out and slept in the back of the RV for a few hours on Monday morning. After he woke up, we did a little shopping and headed home. It was my first time traveling in an RV and I am sure it won't be my last!
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