Christmas at the Johnson Bed and Breakfast

Imagine walking into an old Victorian home with garland strung over arches and a beautiful 9 foot Christmas tree. The whole place smelled like Christmas cookies and I truly felt like I was walking into a bed and breakfast. It's lovely. Sue works to make it not only comfortable, but very inviting. She sets the table ornately with china, wine glasses, holiday napkins and silver. My family back home in Virginia always serves a buffet type meal and on holidays we sit at the little 4 seater table! It's simple and it's home. Although being in the Johnson home is very different than what I am used to, it has been a delightful experience. Last night we ate chili for dinner, decorated Christmas cookies, played games, and then met up with some of Brent's high school friends at the local bar. I'm staying in the guest room and he is sleeping in his twin bed from childhood. I clearly got the better end of the deal! I am in a four poster bed with my own bathroom. This is why I say I am in a bed and breakfast. Brent and I made biscuits and gravy for breakfast, we all took naps, and now we have the house to ourselves while Sue and Larry are in church. I tried to convince Brent to go because it means a lot to his mother, but he didn't budge. I don't fault him for it although the music would have been nice. My Christmas spirit, despite my festive surroundings, is a bit mellow at the moment. I miss my family. I miss wearing pajamas half the day, watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies with my parents, and pigging out on lasagna. I miss traveling on Christmas Eve to visit other families in the area and coming home to a cup of coffee. My best friend Michelle called right when I needed her and I feel better. I am grateful for the family that I am spending the holiday with. They have invited me into their home with open arms and I feel comfortable here. I love Brent and the fact that he put on Christmas music right after my conversation with Michelle and danced with me in front of the Christmas tree. He always strives to make me happy, and it always works.

Praying

This morning a 3 year old asked me to bless the food we were about to eat. I couldn't refuse but at the same time color rose to my face. I haven't prayed in quite some time so doing it aloud and in front of a family caused some anxiety inside of me. As I started to pray the familiarity of the act took over me and calmed me. It felt good. I know that God will bless this family as they head to a Tennessee to start a new life, and I felt confident in the fact that God heard my prayer because it was about a God-fearing family. It felt safe to pray for others. I don't have enough faith left anymore to pray for myself. I've found that it's easier to just live my life, and I am much happier not being governed by fear and the judgment of others. Faith is a wonderful, blessed thing... and God exists. I have no doubt of that. But I prefer living as I am, and have been content in that choice.

Georgia and I, Look how cute we are...

Okay, Okay

Apparently a picture of Brent is in high demand since I refer to him so frequently. Yes, he is the love of my life. Yes, he is the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. BUT HE HATES PICTURES. Georgia has taken some cute ones of us and that is where this picture comes from, but when he sees this on my blog, I am going to get scowled at AND attacked. Attacked with tickles of course. Oh well, I can face the consequences.