Friday, December 30, 2005

Fun Stuff

Two days off in a row and a New Year's Eve party tomorrow!? Who could ask for more... I haven't had a day off in a while and it's starting to wear me down... now I can breathe and go home to leftover lasagna, garlic bread, and wine. It started snowing last night and it really hasn't stopped. The snow itself lifts my spirits. I am so excited about not being at work for two ENTIRE days. I am so excited to get in another snowball fight the moment the opportunity arises. It truly will be a wonderful weekend...

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Maybe

People can be so damn annoying. Why would you be a young man with potential promises of grandeur and dress like a thug complete with sideways baseball cap? Don't they realize society will instantly judge them to fall into the mold of womanizer, gun-totter, foul-mouthed scum on welfare? Maybe they don't realize it. Maybe wearing over-sized clothes and walking with a forced limp is a form of expression to them. Maybe I am the one in the wrong by throwing accusations in their direction. Or maybe not. I will let you decide. Here I am sitting at a fast food restaurant waiting on my car's oil to be changed. I am minding my own business eating my unsatisfactory meal and twice I overhear the apparent leader of the pack of four head in my direction to "scam on a girl." He attempted twice but his attention span was so short it took minimal effort for his friends to distract him. So now do I have the right to judge this young man in particular? In observing him for a total of ten minutes I can come to some reasonable conclusions but definitely nothing life condemning. I am no oracle. But come to think of it, I started writing this before the young man even came in my direction, before I had any real, personal issue with his behavior. So it is reasonable to assume that I am in asshole in the situation. I only feel threatened because I don't understand.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Foul Mood

I am in such a mood that people are saying I look angry. I got to work SO EARLY today that I truly am not approachable. My normally happy-go-lucky nature has been replaced with a Do Not F*%@ with me persona. I take calls and speak with people all day. I feel like I am being short with them and am highly irritated. I don’t care if they are confused about the plan or are out of medication. I don’t care if people are going to “die” if they can’t get this done TODAY. I just want to say, “Plan ahead Idiot.” Of course, no one can tell I feel this way because I am being fake and professional. That is disgusting to me but why let my bad moods carry over into my work and get in trouble? Of course, being in trouble at my company is a joke. You have to practically ask to get fired here. We have many dim-witted employees to prove this fact. Wow. This is insane.

Monday, December 26, 2005

After the Festivities

So Christmas of 2005 is over and done with and 2006 is right around the corner. It's strange that I was worried about my gifts from Brent last night, he was perfect. The highlight was a moleskin journal. I remarked to myself yesterday afternoon that the one thing I didn't get was a journal. You see, my sister has gotten me one for the past two years. But this year we set a price limit and she got a gift certificate for that amount and was done. As a result, I was bummed. But Brent thought of it; he knew that journaling was important to me and it made me warm inside to know that he recognized that. He also got me an adorable stuffed pony that I named Thor. I snuggled with him last night as I fell asleep. We had a wonderful meal by candlelight while watching the Vikings game. It was great. You can't beat good food, a good man, and football. Of course we lost so we're out of the playoffs but that is another topic altogether. Christmas this year was definitely different being away from my parents and extended family, but it was well worth the wait.

Pondering

Have you ever just sat somewhere and thought about everything and nothing all at the same time? I do, often. I laugh at myself for how truly silly I can be. Being female, I overanalyze little things. I tend to stew over ideas like a cow chews its cud. Over and over I toss them around until all flavor and zest is gone. Morning is my favorite time of day as I get ready for work. I shower, make breakfast, drink coffee, watch the news, and ponder as I do my hair and make up. I love the slow pace of it all and wouldn't trade it for anything. I find extreme peace in knowing I am mentally prepared to tackle the day ahead. Is it possible that thinking relieves stress? In my case, I think it must.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy 25th!

Everyone have a safe and happy HOLIDAY SEASON... well hell, I am so Polictically Correct.

Background Check

Virginia. Virginia is where I found myself. Amid the mountains and Southern hospitality, I blossomed. I grew up in Florida and remained sullen, quiet, and uninterested. When we moved to Virginia when I was in 6th grade, I became vibrant and popular in school. I was given a fresh start. In high school I fell in love with a boy from another school 30 minutes away. He was so much like me, the life of the party, and he adored me. Three years and a broken engagement later, we ended it. I went to Radford University for two and a half years where I was part of the Honors Program and also worked at a local grocery store. Life seemed full but was still lacking something. I left my scholarships and school when I realized I had no direction. I got a full time job at a bank and a part time job working fast food for extra cash. I was not dating anyone. I had friends, but mainly stayed in my own world. My sister came home for Christmas in 2003 and convinced me to move to Minnesota. She said the jobs were plentiful and I could use a fresh start. Was I up for yet another "fresh start?" The answer is-- hell yes. I moved and was quite depressed at first, but everything adjusted quite well. I started dating a coaster of a man and it only lasted 6 months, but it was my first relationship in four years so I didn't have many expectations going in. After that I started dating for the sake of dating. Then I got promoted at work and instantly developed a crush on a shy co-worker. Four months later we finally tried getting together outside of work and now I am in love. So does life still seem lacking? In my job I wish I were more challenged. In my personal life I am very content. Overall, I miss the beautiful mountains of Virginia, but I'm finally home.

Snow, Snow, Snow


Snow is so cool. You know, the first time I saw snow I was in middle school and thought it was God's dandruff. I truly did. But now I love it. I wait for it. And now that the weather is warming up, all of our wonderful snow is melting and leaving such a horrible, slushy mess. I remember two weeks ago I got into a snowball fight with my boyfriend. It was great fun. Right when he thought I was finally done and exhausted, I wiped my wet gloves in his face! ;) I am such a nice girl. But he picked me up and swung me around, made me feel like I were in a movie from the romance of the scene. Snow. It builds up on your car and you have to scrape... but it's lovely. It's great to walk outside and tilt your head back. Now that I'm an adult, I restrain from opening my mouth like the girl above, but I still smile and breathe it in. I just hope we get a fresh coat sometime soon.

Christmas Time

Today is Christmas Eve. This year doesn't quite feel like Christmas. I am apart from my parents for the first time in my life. I am sitting at work in a call center beside a man who loves talking. I have heard the same stories several times. I watch him laugh with his belly bouncing and he oddly reminds me of Santa Claus. He is a good man, a kind man. He is in need of attention and I normally lend an ear and encouraging statements to let him know that someone is here to listen. He has never been married and lives alone. Most people at work view him as a talker, someone that will talk to you until he turns blue in the face. I view him as a lonely man in view of a friend. On bad days, the constant discussion drains me of all good will and I want to yell to stop the tirade. But on good days I think he is an amusing man.
I talked to my parents this morning with my sister while opening presents. We all took turns as if we were all in the same room and not two thousand miles apart. I wanted to cry at one point from missing them. But as mom said, the more we are apart the easier it will become. "The first time is always the worst." Well if this is the worst, I am glad for it. I have been short tempered in my personal life and somewhat hopeless.
Now that the "holidays" are here and I am creating a blog for lack of anything better to do, life is starting to feel normal again. My boyfriend and I are spending the evening together and exchanging gifts. I hope he likes my practical gifts and forgives me for not getting him the elusive X Box 360. I am nervous about his gifts, hoping that he was teasing when he casually said he had no idea what to get me. Five months in a relationship is plenty of time to know what I might like... I am sure it will be a wonderful night. Surf and turf, Pinot Noir, bread, and Brent. Life is wonderful.