Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Working toward my future

In mid-February I joined Weight Watchers.  I have lost nearly 35 pounds in these past 6 months following the program.  Weight Watchers doesn’t work unless you work the program, and boy have I been working it!  If I am going way over the point allotment for the day (eating too much) – I typically will continue to track to at least be accountable for what I am doing.  Sometimes I look back at the times I have cheated and wonder how I’ve still managed to lose weight.  The bottom line is – even cheating is far better than how I was eating prior to joining.  That is scary.
At 5’3” it was hard for me to imagine weighing in at 217.  That wasn’t even my heaviest.  Just where I started this time.  I am 175 now and feeling much better physically.  I am rarely fatigued.  I play tennis again.  I have energy.  My joints don’t hurt.  I am visiting the chiropractor less often.  I have gone down 2 sizes.  And yet, I am not done so I don’t feel settled.  I am almost restless and anxious to be done with this process.
I need to understand that the last 25 pounds will come off more slowly than the initial chunk of weight.  It will take me another 6-9 months to get there if I am diligent.  I understand that and yet I want the instant result.  We all want the hard part to be over and the fun part to in our lives.  The part where my weight is a non-issue.  The part where I have been at a healthy weight for so long that people forget what I used to look like heavy.  The part where eating poorly feels foreign.  The place where being scared of going back doesn’t exist.
Many of my family members are obese and feel as if they are doomed.  Like nothing they do will change the fact they are obese, diabetic, and riddled with all manner of illness/disease.  I see it as an additional challenge, as additional fuel to fan my flame.  I will not be defeated.  I am a strong woman and want to live many happy, healthy years.  I want my husband and I to be the type of couple that goes on bike rides in our retirement years and watches the grandkids for the weekend.  I want to do so many things in this life.  Most of all – I want to be healthy and teach my kids how to take care of themselves mentally and physically.  I want them to know that my health, and theirs, is worth the effort.  I want them to know that food has the power to control you but only if you allow it.
I have been setting the pace for a lifelong journey of health these past 6 months and I am totally up for the challenge.  Reaching my goal weight will be incredibly difficult.  Maintaining it will be ever harder.

Bring it On.
Before pic from a date night

Not a flattering photo by any means, but definitely shows a true "before" image

Slouched over and frumpy dumpy before shot

Progress photo from early August

Progress photo from early August

Progress photo from early August

Monday, May 26, 2014

Family

It’s amazing how you can be so far away from people and yet remain connected.  An aunt you see yearly and only talk to once or twice otherwise can mean the world to you.  They are family.  My Aunt Barbara has been battling cancer and is not winning.  She is now consulting with a hospice doctor who has given her the expectation of 3-6 months to live.  Hearing this news was devastating.  I am not close to many of my aunts and uncles, but I hold Aunt Barbara very close to my heart.  She is a tough lady, but a dainty one too.  She has always been very lively and will offer words of wisdom to help in any situation.  She is dying of cancer but is very concerned with my mom’s health.  My Uncle Harvey, Barbara’s husband, is a very strong man.  He is retired military, opinionated, and stubborn.  I am sure knowing he is losing his wife is breaking him but he will never let on.  He owes it to her to be strong, and she owed it to him to fight for as long as she has.  Her suffering has been in vain because the cancer is spreading further and faster than the doctors anticipated.  I can’t even wrap my head around how a woman could be haying in the field alongside the men with a “sinus infection” that ends up being cancer in her naval cavity.  I can’t wrap my head around how a vital woman is suddenly struck down and then beaten down for years.  She has allowed herself to stop fighting and accept her fate.  Now the waiting comes.  I am grateful that I will not have to watch it happen.  I will be praying for her and the ones surrounding her for strength and acceptance.  I will also be praying for mercy.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

I shook hands with a murderer today...

Mary Johnson and Oshea Israel

As I sat there in church, it was impossible not to judge the man in front of me.  At the young age of 16, Oshea Israel killed another man.  He was tried as an adult and convicted of second degree manslaughter.  He served 17 years in prison out of his 25 year sentence.  He is a 38 year old charismatic, attractive, muscled man.  He smiles easily.  After hearing the mother of his victim, Mary Johnson, speak about forgiveness; I started to think if I could ever forgive someone of such a transgression.  She lost her only son and after 12 years of grieving and struggling since the murder, she forgave him. Looking at them today, you would think the two of them were mother and son.  They banter.  They touch one another in kindness.  He helped her on and off the stage.  They were literally next door neighbors for the first 3 years after he left prison.  She refers to him as her "spiritual son."

Their story is so remarkable that they have traveled all around the country and appeared on The View and in People magazine.  No one can believe the power of Christ to heal both of their hearts.  Oshea had to first accept his sin in order to forgive himself and continue on with his life.  Mary had to forgive the man that killed her only child in order to continue on with her life and let go of the rage and torment she carried.  After the service I was drawn to them both.  To Mary for having such strength, and to Oshea for owning what he did and trying to make something positive the outcome of such a horrible act.

They live in North Minneapolis.  They share their story as often as God allows, in their words.  If you want to know more, visit their site http://www.fromdeathtolife.us/home.html.