Nature Calls

On a night like this I love to listen
to all of nature's callings;
the wind beating against the trees
and forcing leaves to the ground___
the whistling sound the wind makes
cascading through the meadows
or even the crisp chilly breeze
flowing against my body
as I walk into the river
my toes are cold, but I don't feel the numbness
my hair is wet, but I don't want to notice
I need to feel the night
I need to stand alone
on the river bed
feeling the cool water wrap around by body
like a towel
making me feel all chilly inside
the way it should be
the fish start to nibble at my toes
I laugh out loud
thinking how crazy I am
but when I try exiting the river
I realize I can't
the water has taken hold of me
forever


I wrote the above poem in 1996 when I was still attending Middle School. My mom has always feared that I would drown because I had a few close calls in my childhood. I am sure this poem did not bring her comfort. My thoughts always leaned toward boys and darker issues such as death and rage. I have never understood that phase of my life. On the outside, I was bubbly and bright. On the inside, I wrote of despair. Good thing I grew out of that!