I am sure the question of the duration of breastfeeding has plagued many mothers. Not because we don’t enjoy being milk cows, but because we want what is best for our children. Some doctors (and I am quite certain they must be men) recommend breastfeeding for the first two years of your child’s life. I am sorry but WHAT?! At that point the kid would be unbuttoning your shirt and everything. That is a bit much. My mom and I discussed this and she said, “Well, women in other countries breast feed their children for years.” I am sure they do in third world countries out of necessity… no means to do otherwise. America is different. Breastfeeding is all about “bonding” and “doing what is best for your baby.” Okay, well what if you don’t produce enough milk to solely breastfeed? What if your baby tolerates formula very well and is starting to be antsy at the breast like the food isn’t coming fast enough? Is it okay to “wean” the baby at that point?
Alex and I have struggled with feeding from day one. He was aggressive, I got injured by my breast pump, and I’ve never produced enough milk for him. I felt so terribly guilty about that at first, and still do at times, but I do what I can. I pump and breastfeed but his main intake is formula. He clearly likes breast milk from a bottle and loves to breastfeed. Most of the time. Lately he is becoming panicky while breastfeeding and doesn’t calm down enough to drink. I get frustrated. He stays frustrated. I end up giving him a bottle and pumping which completely derails my time to bond with my son.
This unfortunate pattern has occurred several times over the past few weeks and has got me wondering about when to toss in the towel. I simply don’t want to start looking at breastfeeding as a chore.
I know that Alex is at a disadvantage because he gets mainly formula, but a lot of women can’t – or choose not to – breastfeed at all. He’s had 3 months of about 12 ounces of breast milk a day. And believe me, I work hard for that amount! Since most women can produce 8 ounces in one pump session, my 12 ounces a day seems like a small number. But again, I work hard for it and am proud of it. I am proud of my dedication.
Alex is still a little guy and I don’t want to feel guilty about stopping but at the same time I want my body back. I just don’t want to be selfish in this. After all, being a mom automatically means you will sacrifice.
The length of time is personal to every woman. I have friends who breastfed from 6 weeks to 8 months. One of my friends chose not to breastfeed at all because she experienced so much pain initially. It’s a personal choice.
And for me, making a tough decision requires time and thinking out loud which is why I am asking other mothers what they think and writing about it. Are there any opinions out there worth sharing? I will make my own decision for what is best for Alex and I… but I always like to know what people are thinking. I simply don’t want to start looking at breastfeeding as a chore.
4 comments:
I think Jessi and I are a great example of this. When she was born we tried breast feeding and it was just too painful. She was a large baby with way to much suction power. She got about 3 days worth of breastmilk before I switched her to formula. I personally feel that we have an extremely close relationship so the bonding wasn't an issue.
Plus she has been extremely healthy all her life. The reason I point this out is because some people say that children who are not breastfed become ill easier. This is not and was not the case with Jessi. I don't think the girl even had collic as an infant and has only has 1 ear infection in her life.
She's now a 12 year old girl who is on the honor roll, never gets sick and is very athletic. And she wasn't really breastfed hardly at all.
Ultimately this is how I see it...If you are as dedicated to breast feeding as you are, then I'm sure you are as dedicated to Alex as humanly possible. It is this dedication and love that forms the bonds that we share in life. You're a great Mom and whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and Alex.
Lake and Honey were both big babies too, and we also experienced the frustrating parts of breastfeeding impatience. For me, I was relieved to talk to my pediatrician who put it very wisely when he said what is best for the baby is usually what works best for the whole family. He advised that if I was frustrated, the baby would be frustrated, daddy would be frustrated, and the cycle continues every feeding. He recommended to breastfeed as long as I could. My advice would be "just don't let the la leche league nurses know..." they can be scary and put you on a serious guilt trip.
3 months is about how long we made it with breast feeding too...then daddy got to help a lot more, so he got snuggle time, and everyone was happier!
Thanks for the comments... I really appreciate it. We are still breastfeeding and he seems to be calmer at the breast since I wrote. I want to continue as long as possible but only for as long as he still finds it enjoyable. Because I agree with if I am frustrated so is he. I think he just isn't getting enough fast enough. But - like I said- it's been good since I wrote so we are just taking one day at a time. I'll know when he's ready.
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