Angie

Angie Johnson, my brother-in-law Erik's wife, passed away on October 24, 2010. She was only 36 years old. It is still a shock to my system that someone that young could be gone so quickly. Angie had a weird swelling in her hand back in September and we were nosy and asked about it... she was going for testing to see what the cause was. On Friday 10/22 they diagnosed her with chronic leukemia and started her on a low dose of chemo. We got a call from Brent's dad that Angie was in ICU, essentially in a coma, and things weren't looking good on Sunday. We left right away to go to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN. When we got there, we both knew something was really wrong. How can someone go from talking to me on Friday night, being strong and confident that things would turn out okay... to lying in a hospital room having a respirator control her breathing not even 48 hours later. I knew Angie was going to find out the diagnosis during the day on Friday so I called her that night. She was shaken, but strong. The only time her voice broke was when she said telling her parents was the hardest part. She said out of all of her sisters, she was glad it was her fighting cancer because she could fight it the best. She said, "Does that make me crazy?" I said, "No, that makes you noble."

Oh Angie.

I still can't believe it. While Angie was still with us I was in the room holding her hand, rubbing her feet, talking to her as normally as I could. Of course, Angie would've decked me if I touched her feet under "normal" circumstances! She sure was feisty.

The thing that keeps my mind busy is how Jessica and Erik are coping with this loss. Jessica is only 13 years old... and Erik just lost his wife of 15 years. I cannot imagine facing this world without Brent by my side. I am trying to be there for them, let them know we love them and are here if they need us... but I just don't feel like it's enough. No one will ever be able to take their pain away or replace Angie in their lives.

We traveled out to North Dakota two days before the visitation just to be there with them. My 15 month old son Alex really kept everyone distracted. I was able to help Jessica shop for clothes for her mother's funeral (just typing that makes me want to cry) and we bonded over making French Toast for breakfast one morning. There were a few tense moments about Jessica leaving the house in a tank top and flip flops... but apparently she and Angie were supposed to go last week for Jessi's winter gear. When I heard that it just broke my heart. Brent and I offered to get her a coat, hat, and gloves and let me tell you... she is just the prettiest girl. She said, "I want something that makes me feel like a model." After she found a cream Columbia jacket with a fur lined hood... it was easy for her to look like America's Next Top Model.

Angie adored Jessica... she was always bragging that Jessica was the prettiest, smartest, most athletic girl - and she was right!

I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she's gone. She took our wedding pictures. She emailed me for updates when she knew I had a doctor's appointment while pregnant, she emailed me after Alex was born when she knew he was having a check up... she kept track of us. I always appreciated her efforts... and I will miss her presence dearly.