Friday, June 18, 2010
Frustration
We can’t seem to get our finances in order. The moment we think we have things under control; we are dinged with a surprise Late Fee. Late fees are not the norm in our household… but for the past few months neither one of us are noticing due dates. We have been struggling to keep up not because we don’t have the money but because we don’t seem to actively keep on top of it. It is so frustrating. I think Brent is on top of it and vice versa. Most things are taken care of promptly and then something creeps in. I don’t mind calling creditors, explaining a mostly true situation, and getting the fees reversed (and the lack of fees on the account makes them believe the mostly true tale)… but what does that say for us? Have we all of a sudden become irresponsible card holders because we are now parents? Is this a normal thing new parent’s struggle with? Our mail is piling up on our guest bed but everything else in the home is in order. The baby is well. Our marriage is strong. So why is it a constant struggle? I would venture to say it is a lack of communication between Brent and me. We don’t like verbalizing “rules” or assigning jobs. We don’t like admitting to one another we aren’t on top of it, that we are inconsistently organized. I don’t want a family where the wife does the bills or the husband does the bills… but now I am starting to understand assigning that heinous task to an individual. That still doesn’t make me want to volunteer.
Monday, June 14, 2010
My 29th Birthday
I woke up on the morning of June 5th and it was just like any other Saturday. I normally have breakfast in bed with some fresh flowers sitting nicely in the middle of my dining room table. I am taken out for dinner and a movie and treated like a queen all day.
But this birthday was different. I expected it which helps so I mentally prepared myself and was truly not hurt when these pleasantries did not occur. You see, Brent was sick. I mean, sick sick. He was running a temperature and was just icky for days. This was also my first birthday as a mother so I knew that aspect would be different because you are needed whether it is a special day or not. Alex woke up at 7:30 like usual and needed his mommy.
I did manage to sneak out of the house and go shopping. I left while Alex was napping and Brent only had to watch him for about 45 minutes before I returned home. Shopping alone when you have a 10 month old baby is a real treat so I was incredibly grateful for that “me” time. I found some great clothes at fantastic prices. There was no guilt. My mom and dad sent money for my b-day present so there were no feelings of “This money would be better sent here or there.” This was MY money and I spent every bit of it gleefully.
That night I cooked barbeque chicken breasts and corn on the cob on the grill. I baked potatoes and had such a nice dinner just enjoying grilled food and sharing some of the potato with Alex. Brent didn’t eat much but he did make the effort to join us at the table.
I thought that was the end of my birthday. But I overlooked the fact that I married such a terrific man.
Friday evening, June 11th, I was starving. Brent said he would take out chicken for dinner and I didn’t see it. I said, “Well, its payday let’s go out somewhere to eat.” He didn’t budge from the sofa. I was in some kind of rush to leave but he wasn’t budging! Then I said, “You’re not going to believe this but someone is pulling in our driveway! It looks like your parents.” I was shocked and of course it was Sue and Larry. They came with presents for me and to babysit Alex so Brent could take me out. It was a complete surprise.
Brent still wasn’t feeling 100% but he planned this special evening for us. For those of you with babies, you know how special it is for someone to plan for a sitter and then take you out for a real date! We ate dinner and chatted then went to see “Get him to the Greek” which I thought was hilarious. I laughed the loudest in the theatre (no big surprise there) and then we went home. Alex was sleeping soundly in his room. Larry was asleep on the sofa and Sue was finishing a movie. All was well. And I got my birthday celebration.
But this birthday was different. I expected it which helps so I mentally prepared myself and was truly not hurt when these pleasantries did not occur. You see, Brent was sick. I mean, sick sick. He was running a temperature and was just icky for days. This was also my first birthday as a mother so I knew that aspect would be different because you are needed whether it is a special day or not. Alex woke up at 7:30 like usual and needed his mommy.
I did manage to sneak out of the house and go shopping. I left while Alex was napping and Brent only had to watch him for about 45 minutes before I returned home. Shopping alone when you have a 10 month old baby is a real treat so I was incredibly grateful for that “me” time. I found some great clothes at fantastic prices. There was no guilt. My mom and dad sent money for my b-day present so there were no feelings of “This money would be better sent here or there.” This was MY money and I spent every bit of it gleefully.
That night I cooked barbeque chicken breasts and corn on the cob on the grill. I baked potatoes and had such a nice dinner just enjoying grilled food and sharing some of the potato with Alex. Brent didn’t eat much but he did make the effort to join us at the table.
I thought that was the end of my birthday. But I overlooked the fact that I married such a terrific man.
Friday evening, June 11th, I was starving. Brent said he would take out chicken for dinner and I didn’t see it. I said, “Well, its payday let’s go out somewhere to eat.” He didn’t budge from the sofa. I was in some kind of rush to leave but he wasn’t budging! Then I said, “You’re not going to believe this but someone is pulling in our driveway! It looks like your parents.” I was shocked and of course it was Sue and Larry. They came with presents for me and to babysit Alex so Brent could take me out. It was a complete surprise.
Brent still wasn’t feeling 100% but he planned this special evening for us. For those of you with babies, you know how special it is for someone to plan for a sitter and then take you out for a real date! We ate dinner and chatted then went to see “Get him to the Greek” which I thought was hilarious. I laughed the loudest in the theatre (no big surprise there) and then we went home. Alex was sleeping soundly in his room. Larry was asleep on the sofa and Sue was finishing a movie. All was well. And I got my birthday celebration.
Monday, June 07, 2010
Memorial Day Weekend
We spent a lot of time with the Johnson Clan over Memorial Day weekend. First, we went out around noon on Saturday for a BBQ that afternoon.
Alex playing with his new drum.
Lee and Marlys enjoying the weather
The North Dakota Johnsons were able to come in for the holiday which is always fun.
Alex's first time in a wading pool. We didn't have his swim suit, but we made it work!
Alex and Ashley playing
Alex feeling out the grass
Grandma Sue and Sheri looking pretty
Playtime!
The three cousins. Alex clearly wanted to play, not take pictures!
On Sunday, Erik and Angie met us in New Hope to eat lunch at the Sunshine Factory. After that we packed and headed out to Chisago for an RV trip. The 3 of us joined Larry, Sue and Jessica and went to Shell Lake, Wisconsin.
Marty enjoying the ride out to Chisago on Sunday afternoon.
The ride out there was fun for all of us, especially Alex. He had lots to look at and everyone was playing with him!
It was gorgeous out that but rained all Sunday night. So... no bonfire! Not many great pictures from that first night because we were all trapped inside.
Jessica's odd choice of sleeping location.
The set-up
View from the RV
The shallow water was just beautiful. It was pretty warm but none of really wanted to go swimming.
Except for Marty! It was his first time swimming and he loved it!
And I leave you with this, a picture of my babies bum. He was tuckered out and slept in the back of the RV for a few hours on Monday morning. After he woke up, we did a little shopping and headed home. It was my first time traveling in an RV and I am sure it won't be my last!
Alex playing with his new drum.
Lee and Marlys enjoying the weather
The North Dakota Johnsons were able to come in for the holiday which is always fun.
Alex's first time in a wading pool. We didn't have his swim suit, but we made it work!
Alex and Ashley playing
Alex feeling out the grass
Grandma Sue and Sheri looking pretty
Playtime!
The three cousins. Alex clearly wanted to play, not take pictures!
On Sunday, Erik and Angie met us in New Hope to eat lunch at the Sunshine Factory. After that we packed and headed out to Chisago for an RV trip. The 3 of us joined Larry, Sue and Jessica and went to Shell Lake, Wisconsin.
Marty enjoying the ride out to Chisago on Sunday afternoon.
The ride out there was fun for all of us, especially Alex. He had lots to look at and everyone was playing with him!
It was gorgeous out that but rained all Sunday night. So... no bonfire! Not many great pictures from that first night because we were all trapped inside.
Jessica's odd choice of sleeping location.
The set-up
View from the RV
The shallow water was just beautiful. It was pretty warm but none of really wanted to go swimming.
Except for Marty! It was his first time swimming and he loved it!
And I leave you with this, a picture of my babies bum. He was tuckered out and slept in the back of the RV for a few hours on Monday morning. After he woke up, we did a little shopping and headed home. It was my first time traveling in an RV and I am sure it won't be my last!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
A couple of thoughts for the New Year
1. Isn’t it lovely being a mother? I didn’t anticipate the pure joy a little one brings into your life. I cannot begin to express how much love has filled our home with the addition of Alex into our family. Brent and I are so blessed to have such a happy little guy.
2. Just breathe. Stress can come in so many different ways. Sometimes it hits all at once and causes a physical reaction. Sometimes it creeps in and takes you by surprise. However the delivery… just breathe. It will pass.
3. I’m worth it. I need to make time for me… to develop my interests and take care of myself. Just because I am a mom doesn’t mean I can’t have girl time… or time to scrapbook… or time to read. I am worth setting time aside for.
4. Let’s Get Physical! I have gained more weight than I care to admit since I have been in a happy, committed relationship with Brent. My tummy is gross. I am used to the big thighs and hips… but a tummy too! That won’t do!
5. Enjoy the small moments. Sometimes I work myself into a tizzy with all of the cleaning around the house or chores… and I forget to stop and enjoy the small things. And with Alex, there are so many precious moments to witness.
Some pictures from 2009:
Brent and I before a friends wedding over the summer.
I like to call this one "First man to man chat"
Tummy Time! 
2. Just breathe. Stress can come in so many different ways. Sometimes it hits all at once and causes a physical reaction. Sometimes it creeps in and takes you by surprise. However the delivery… just breathe. It will pass.
3. I’m worth it. I need to make time for me… to develop my interests and take care of myself. Just because I am a mom doesn’t mean I can’t have girl time… or time to scrapbook… or time to read. I am worth setting time aside for.
4. Let’s Get Physical! I have gained more weight than I care to admit since I have been in a happy, committed relationship with Brent. My tummy is gross. I am used to the big thighs and hips… but a tummy too! That won’t do!
5. Enjoy the small moments. Sometimes I work myself into a tizzy with all of the cleaning around the house or chores… and I forget to stop and enjoy the small things. And with Alex, there are so many precious moments to witness.
Some pictures from 2009:
Brent and I before a friends wedding over the summer.
I like to call this one "First man to man chat"
Tummy Time!
Marty being adorable
Thursday, December 10, 2009
A big change for Alex and I
Alex and I are making a change. He was giving me all the signs that breastfeeding was no longer working for him... so on Monday evening we started the process of weaning. It has been seamless for Alex since he is well accustomed to eating formula... but I am a hot mess.
It is devastating knowing that I cannot keep up enough with him. It's the simple law of supply and demand. He can eat 10 ounces of formula at a time now... and when he nurses he only gets about 2 ounces. The last few weeks Alex has only been able to nurse about 5-7 minutes, and then he snoozes. I switch breasts and the same thing happens. So basically, he was working really hard and exhausting himself. And he was left hungry. And since he was working so hard, I was left sore.
Since I wrote last, Alex and I found such a happy place breastfeeding. It was comforting for both of us and I miss it desperately. He would nurse, hang out for a little while, and then we would suppliment with formula. But the last several weeks he has just needed more than I can give. He needed more, sooner. I even tried eating seaweed soup (it is believed to increase milk supply in Korean cultures). But Alex is eating solids now and is just a hungry little guy. I can't help but feel inadequate. If I could supply more, we would still be nursing.
The pain in my breasts this week has been more than expected, but it's nothing compared to the emotions I am battling. Today they haven't been hurting as badly... and it is is killing me. That means my milk is drying up. That means this stage is almost over. That means I only have a day or two before I can't produce anything at all...
Brent says I should be proud of sticking with it even though we experienced so many challenges in the beginning. He says I have given Alex exactly what he needed. Now he just needs something else. And as I write that I know it's true but I am crying anyway. Is this normal?! I just feel so torn up about the whole thing.
I know it's the right decision but that doesn't make it easier. Women are not known for being rational. I won't lie and say the idea of wearing a normal bra and drinking a beer doesn't excite me... but this has been such a special time for us. It's our quiet time.
I have no doubt I will remember the simple pleasure of knowing I provided something so special to my son. I need to focus on the fact that some women don't have the opportunity to breastfeed at all and count myself fortunate for these past four and a half months.
It is devastating knowing that I cannot keep up enough with him. It's the simple law of supply and demand. He can eat 10 ounces of formula at a time now... and when he nurses he only gets about 2 ounces. The last few weeks Alex has only been able to nurse about 5-7 minutes, and then he snoozes. I switch breasts and the same thing happens. So basically, he was working really hard and exhausting himself. And he was left hungry. And since he was working so hard, I was left sore.
Since I wrote last, Alex and I found such a happy place breastfeeding. It was comforting for both of us and I miss it desperately. He would nurse, hang out for a little while, and then we would suppliment with formula. But the last several weeks he has just needed more than I can give. He needed more, sooner. I even tried eating seaweed soup (it is believed to increase milk supply in Korean cultures). But Alex is eating solids now and is just a hungry little guy. I can't help but feel inadequate. If I could supply more, we would still be nursing.
The pain in my breasts this week has been more than expected, but it's nothing compared to the emotions I am battling. Today they haven't been hurting as badly... and it is is killing me. That means my milk is drying up. That means this stage is almost over. That means I only have a day or two before I can't produce anything at all...
Brent says I should be proud of sticking with it even though we experienced so many challenges in the beginning. He says I have given Alex exactly what he needed. Now he just needs something else. And as I write that I know it's true but I am crying anyway. Is this normal?! I just feel so torn up about the whole thing.
I know it's the right decision but that doesn't make it easier. Women are not known for being rational. I won't lie and say the idea of wearing a normal bra and drinking a beer doesn't excite me... but this has been such a special time for us. It's our quiet time.
I have no doubt I will remember the simple pleasure of knowing I provided something so special to my son. I need to focus on the fact that some women don't have the opportunity to breastfeed at all and count myself fortunate for these past four and a half months.
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