It's a girl! We went to the ultrasound and promptly to celebrate over lunch at our favorite Mexican place El Loro. I really celebrated with this delicious Fried Ice Cream for desert. Pumpkin liked it!

Big Event with Little Lydia

Last Monday I was admitted into the ER for shortness of breath and minor heart palpitations. Before I get into the details, let me say that I am okay. I wouldn't have been as worried except for the little baby growing inside of me... Pumpkin is six months along and she has been a handful! I was literally sitting at work when I lost my breath. I have a desk job, very sedentary, no reason to be out of breath. It was so persistent that I called the nurse line. They advised me to go to the ER and my heart really started racing then. I immediately called Brent for comfort and rescue to come and pick me up from work. I tried to keep it together but of course, could not seem to manage. There were a few private tears, some concerned conversations between myself and co-workers. Brent arrived to pick me up and we went to the nearest hospital. I haven't been to the ER personally since I was stung multiple times by bees in high school. I was also having trouble breathing in that occasion as well, but this was totally different. I am an adult now, a mom. I was so worried about Pumpkin and not at all about myself. I knew in my gut that I was okay, but I wanted to make sure that nothing was causing the discomfort, that nothing was wrong with my baby. The doctor's name was Alex and right away I knew we were in good hands. Brent was amazing. He stayed calm, supportive, and took the information from the Dr. Alex that I was sure to forget. He asked the right questions which was key. We spoke softly to one another between tests. They did an EKG right away. My blood pressure was good. Oxygen level a little low. They did a chest x-ray, blood work, and an ultrasound of the legs to rule out a blood clot. Lots of tests, and they were able to rule out quite a few things. What they didn't find is what caused the issue. If it happens again, I need to get a Cat Scan. They didn't want to do that because one CT is about 100 x-rays worth of radiation... and Pumpkin would not like that very much. Hopefully it was just a fluke as the doctor suspected. But being out of breath for over 4 hours is definitely not normal. I took it as a sign to slow down. No more plans with friends during the week. No more running out to the store after work if I am tired. Lots more sitting on the couch. Lots more resting. I had my scheduled 6 month appointment this past week as well. My doctor agreed that it was probably a fluke and could have been the baby sitting the wrong way making it difficult for me. This early on that is not normal, but it is a likely cause. Bottom line- we're okay but need to slow it down. We spent time as a family on Saturday night at the local community center swimming and playing. I let Brent take the lead on chasing Alex through the play gym and I walked on the indoor track. I am still trying to walk, but slowly. Seems odd how quickly life can change. I went from losing 35 lbs on Weight Watchers and doing a walk/jog combo 3 times a week to gaining weight and walking so slow it's laughable. At least I'm still walking!! That's all I can say. I can already tell that Pumpkin is going to be completely worth it. She is spunky and opinionated. This is a completely different pregnancy and I was convinced I was carrying a girl from the beginning. And I was right! She is kicking me as I type. She just seems feisty to me. I am so excited to meet her. I just hope we make it through the next few months with ease. On that note, time to get ready for bed!

First Impressions of South Korea

Many things I have noticed already, but here are some good ones:

1. Traveling is very hard on young kids. I miss Alex dearly but am so grateful that I didn't put him through the 13 hour flight here. There was a family with two young boys sitting directly in front of me. The mom and dad literally stood in the aisle just so there boys could stretch out over 4 seats and sleep for a few hours. It was such a selfless act, and made a profound impression on me. I had the pleasure of sitting right beside a 4 month old baby as well. She was just miserable and cried frequently. Being a new mom myself, this did not upset me, just made me very aware of how hard it is on the little ones.


2. Korean flight attendants are gorgeous. Georgia said that it is a requirement of the job, no qualms. No discrimination suits. The "ugly girls know not to apply."


3. Korean men like to mock foreigners. A lot. It really irritates Georgia but I just thought it was weird. Georgia knows enough of the language to know they are mocking us, am oblivious.


4. Korean men like my boobies. Totally caught a man staring at my chest on the subway. I made eye contact with him and he just smiled. Georgia did give me the heads up that if someone asks if I am a Russian, quickly say no. That means you are a prostitute. Considering I am already being gawked at, I better practice that response. A woman asked at the Incheon airport if I was a Russian, but only because she herself was from Russia and needed help figuring out customs. She didn't have a cool sister send her an email of what to expect and how to get through it. Right down to disinfecting carpet right when you get off the plane that gets your shoes wet... so walk gingerly onto the tile floor.


5. After getting off the Subway and getting onto the streets of Seuol, I finally felt like I was in a foreign country because the buildings look so different. The signs are all neon and everything is open late, all night long. People start later here. Makes me wonder which country has it right. I may be able to offer an opinion on that after my time here is over.


6. Skype is my best friend. I have talked to Brent several times already and this morning was able to see them on the webcam and talk to my boys. Alex lite up like a Christmas tree when he saw me. All for free.


7. Hotel rooms are very different here. The "bed" is more like a boxspring, literally, and everything is small. Very functional but nothing at all fancy. The bathroom has the shower in the middle of the room and the drain two feet from the toilet. No division. Good to know when when going to the bathroom after a shower has taken place. Wet socks are not happy socks.

Time to go find some breakfast. Apparently people eat soup and rice to start their day here. There is a Dunkin Donuts down the block. I would never consider it in the USA... starting my day off with a donut while on Weight Watchers. Well guess what?! If it is between a damn donut and soup- going for the donut every time.

Valentine’s Day

Today is supposed to be a day that you think of your loved ones… your special someone. This year that cloud of giddiness and pure joy is tinged with storms. I can’t get my mind off of Angie. It would have been her 37th birthday 11 days ago and today Erik is coping with having his first Valentine’s without his wife. Brent and I are still in shock over this loss. Everything seems to remind me of her. I still wear my Leukemia bracelet daily. I still think of Jessi and Erik daily and worry about how they are dealing with it all… I worry about them. There are considered to be 5 Stages of Greif - Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. I worry that they will linger on Anger for a while.

I know I would be angry if my mom were ripped from me when I was 13. I know I would be pissed off if my husband were just suddenly… gone.

There are no correct answers in how people deal with grief. For me, I am depressed. I will always remember and love Angie.

Weight Watchers- It’s a Journey

I started Weight Watchers on 01/18/2011 and just completed my second week. I have lost 5.4 lbs which I think it very exciting! Granted, I have a long journey ahead of me before I reach my target goal but I am enjoying this process.

Right now I am focusing on learning. I am learning what will make this a life-change for me and the tricks that will help me to keep the weight off FOREVER. So far I have really enjoying trying Weight Watchers recipes, keeping yummy guilt-free foods in the house, and keeping allies at hand. I have many friends at work who are also doing WW and have experienced success. Seeing their progress is very encouraging. Brent has also proven to be a fantastic ally. He is making better food choices for himself and is 110% supportive of my goals.

For me, it’s about owning where I am right now. It’s about acceptance. I am not a “healthy” person. I have a tremendous amount of weight to lose before I reach my target of 140. I have accepted that may be a few years from now and am okay with that. I want to have another child so reaching the goal may need to wait until after that happens. And no, I am not pregnant!

I want to be around, and healthy, when I am 90 years old. I have so much heart disease, obesity, diabetes, etc in my family that I cannot be idle any longer. I am approaching 30. My first goal is to be under 200 pounds by the time I reach my 30th birthday in June.

That is only 12.3 pounds away. I can totally do this!