1. Isn’t it lovely being a mother? I didn’t anticipate the pure joy a little one brings into your life. I cannot begin to express how much love has filled our home with the addition of Alex into our family. Brent and I are so blessed to have such a happy little guy. 2. Just breathe. Stress can come in so many different ways. Sometimes it hits all at once and causes a physical reaction. Sometimes it creeps in and takes you by surprise. However the delivery… just breathe. It will pass. 3. I’m worth it. I need to make time for me… to develop my interests and take care of myself. Just because I am a mom doesn’t mean I can’t have girl time… or time to scrapbook… or time to read. I am worth setting time aside for. 4. Let’s Get Physical! I have gained more weight than I care to admit since I have been in a happy, committed relationship with Brent. My tummy is gross. I am used to the big thighs and hips… but a tummy too! That won’t do! 5. Enjoy the small moments. Sometimes I work myself into a tizzy with all of the cleaning around the house or chores… and I forget to stop and enjoy the small things. And with Alex, there are so many precious moments to witness. Some pictures from 2009:
Brent and I before a friends wedding over the summer.
I like to call this one "First man to man chat" 
Tummy Time!
Marty being adorable
Alex and I are making a change. He was giving me all the signs that breastfeeding was no longer working for him... so on Monday evening we started the process of weaning. It has been seamless for Alex since he is well accustomed to eating formula... but I am a hot mess.It is devastating knowing that I cannot keep up enough with him. It's the simple law of supply and demand. He can eat 10 ounces of formula at a time now... and when he nurses he only gets about 2 ounces. The last few weeks Alex has only been able to nurse about 5-7 minutes, and then he snoozes. I switch breasts and the same thing happens. So basically, he was working really hard and exhausting himself. And he was left hungry. And since he was working so hard, I was left sore.Since I wrote last, Alex and I found such a happy place breastfeeding. It was comforting for both of us and I miss it desperately. He would nurse, hang out for a little while, and then we would suppliment with formula. But the last several weeks he has just needed more than I can give. He needed more, sooner. I even tried eating seaweed soup (it is believed to increase milk supply in Korean cultures). But Alex is eating solids now and is just a hungry little guy. I can't help but feel inadequate. If I could supply more, we would still be nursing. The pain in my breasts this week has been more than expected, but it's nothing compared to the emotions I am battling. Today they haven't been hurting as badly... and it is is killing me. That means my milk is drying up. That means this stage is almost over. That means I only have a day or two before I can't produce anything at all...Brent says I should be proud of sticking with it even though we experienced so many challenges in the beginning. He says I have given Alex exactly what he needed. Now he just needs something else. And as I write that I know it's true but I am crying anyway. Is this normal?! I just feel so torn up about the whole thing. I know it's the right decision but that doesn't make it easier. Women are not known for being rational. I won't lie and say the idea of wearing a normal bra and drinking a beer doesn't excite me... but this has been such a special time for us. It's our quiet time. I have no doubt I will remember the simple pleasure of knowing I provided something so special to my son. I need to focus on the fact that some women don't have the opportunity to breastfeed at all and count myself fortunate for these past four and a half months.
